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Rajendra Keshari Pandey


Legal Wife and Legal Life

I wonder from time to time why people are so concerned about mere words such as: legal, illegal, moral, immoral, good bad, nice and not nice. My personal view is these words themselves are irrelevant; it all depends upon our own logic and necessities to suit our interest. What suits you is right and what does not suit you is wrong is the general tendency among people. It is like looking at half a glass of water, some see it half full, and others see it as half empty. Both are correct in their …

…respective and literal terms but whether it is empty or full has little relevance. Its about how you view it, how each individual understands the same thing, is the secret.

Laws, rules, regulations and systems in any nation exist to facilitate governance of that country. Sometimes these become irrelevant and need amendment as per the current situation and needs of the nation. People do interesting things in life, they are capable of modifying, twisting, distorting, and inventing things that first we make legal, then we make it illegal, as per our current necessity, then again we make it legal to suit us. The same thing becomes illegal for some time and when it does not suit us, or function as per our cause we craftily make it legal again. Due processes making subject matter legal and illegal has no relevancy. It is a matter of logic, necessities, compulsion, and needs of the time.

I would like to present a case, which might not be right (illegal) to many, but it is quite genuine to me. One does not need to join a School of Law to understand the legal system. Real justice does not come from a school; it comes from your heart, your discretion, your natural ability, and common sense to judge. I am asked many times if am I married? I say yes, I am married with one child. My answer is not sufficient for most people and they go further. They ask me reluctantly, but you don’t live with your wife, you live with someone else. I tell them; yes this is right, that is my legal life. People have difficulties even in such an obvious matter that they are not ready to accept a simple fact of life. Another example, a person sees his friend at a fishpond with a fishing rod and all his line. They ask, “Hey buddy are you fishing?” We go blind many times even in daylight.

Fact is bitter and sometimes difficult to digest, fiction is sweet, it is very easy to lie or deny. One can deny anything, even yourself in fiction. We simply forget that life is not rules, regulations and law. Life is life and it is for living. It is an accepted fact in Nepal that many people have secret wives or husbands, but it must not be visible. If you are capable of keeping this matter hidden it seems to be fine. If you are unable to do so, makes you something else. It happens universally that many people have secret relationships, but the moment those relationships become public it becomes unacceptable and even illegal. What is this, how and where do legal, legality and morality come into it? The truth is: a person exists and a relationship is or was there, but still we talk about legal wife and illegal wife or husband. This is totally a matter of interpretation, logic and use of words. Or how good you are at twisting words and doing things that suit you. I am visible, if transparency becomes illegal in your interpretation of life and living, then I rather prefer openness and a transparent life.

In our society, doing things in darkness or behind the screen is accepted. Do same thing in openness you have to bear many consequences and face many interrogations. Does it make a difference to others? A person should be allowed to live his/her life as they wish. The barrier of legal and illegal, right and wrong does not change actual life and living. It was there, it will be there, and it will go on and on forever. It is just like a river. “Men may come and men may go, but I go on forever” Legal Wife and Legal Life were always there and will be, no matter what society or words may say.