What kind of DBA are you? Oracle Software Downloads

Posted by: Lava Kafle

When I was a college professor I used to tell my students that “there are no stupid questions”, but that was 25 years ago, back when entry into the computer room was closely guarded.  Back then, Geekdom had “barriers to entry“, and only those people who had studied for years could gain entry into the multi-million dollar mainframe and become a “Data Processing” professional.

Oracle scientist the geek wizard the oracle the creator the destroyer

Today, you don’t need no stinkin High School diploma to elevate yourself to the title of “IT professional”, and the dolts among us need to be constantly reminded that 30 years ago they would be selling shoes at K-Mart:

http://www.dba-oracle.com/t_narcissistic_personality_disorders.htm

We have seen many types of DBAs Database Administrators whose characteristic potential determines who they are. Those technocrats are perfect fabulous, and wise. They protect a company from ruining.

Anyway, there are many “common sense” parallels to people with personality disorders, and I’m dealing with a computer professional who has a a textbook case of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).  Other terms I hear used to describe NPD victims include “prick”, “assh*le”, and “twit”, but I’ve learned that there is a lot that a savvy computer guy can do to get along with the computer narcissist, and get them to cooperate.

Because I work exclusively with computer professionals, I’m exposed to all sorts of personality disorders, a regular DSM-V of weird behavior, but narcissism is right up there at the top of the heap.

Disclaimer: This article is only intended as a light-hearted look at the DBA profession, and it is based solely on my unscientific observations of DBA personality types. It is my hope that you will see yourself in some of these DBA personality types and that these descriptions will remind you of a fellow DBA.

Fighting the oracle world, the trouble, the solution

Also see my fun  Computer Motivational Posters and other humor articles.

Some Oracle concepts are best expressed in a visual manner.

Oracle RMAN:

DAY 1
Introduction to RAC Tuning

Analysis of Performance Issues

Using Automated Memory Management (AMM) with RAC

Disk Monitoring and Tuning for RAC and ASM

Monitoring RAC Cluster Interconnect Performance
Undesirable Global Cache Statistics
Monitoring CURRENT Blocks
Additional Wait Events of Concern

Global Cache Service Times

GCS Monitoring
Use of the “CACHE_TRANSFER” Views
Monitoring the GES Processes
Monitoring the Global Directory

Monitoring and Tuning RAC using OEM

Configuring the Oracle Intelligent Agent With RAC
Step-By-Step Setup of the Intelligent Agents on UNIX

Monitoring RAC Using OEM

RAC Tuning Guidelines

Growth of Powerful Processors

Why Parallel Processing?
Opportunities for Parallelism
Scalability
Parallel Databases
Types of Parallelism
High Performance Computing Cluster
Oracle RAC – High Performance and Highly Available Database
DAY 2

Internals of Real Application Clusters Tuning

Overview of Cache Fusion
Evolution of Cache Fusion
Nature of Cache Fusion
Benefits of Cache Fusion
Concurrency and Consistency
Cache Coherency
Global Cache Service
SGA Components and Locking
SGA – System Global Area
Program Global Area (PGA)
Buffer Cache Management
What is a Dirty Block?
Multi – Version Consistency Model

This is an intensive 3-day hands-on Oracle Real Application Clusters (RAC) tuning course.

Unlike other Oracle RAC tuning classes, this course is taught by a practicing RAC expert with years of experience in tuning mission-critical RAC databases.

The course focuses on RAC disk I/O tuning, SGA tuning and tuning the cache fusion cluster interconnect.  The course will also include specialized Oracle RAC tuning script for monitoring all of the critical RAC performance areas.

This hands-on Oracle RAC training is special because this course is taught by a veteran Oracle Certified DBA with years of full-time experience.

RAC Lock tuning Components
Global Cache Service
Global Enqueque Service
Row-Level Locks
Global Resource Directory
RAC Processes
Resource Coordination
Synchronization
GCS Resource Modes and Roles
Concept of Past Image
Lock Modes
Block Access Modes and Buffer States
Cache Fusion Scenarios
Block transfers using Cache Fusion – Examples
Block Access, Grants, and Interrupts
Cache Fusion and Recovery tuning
Recovery Features
Recovery Methodology and Steps
Recovery Process – Re-mastering
DAY 3

RAC Performance Monitoring and Tuning

Analysis of Performance Issues
Monitoring RAC Cluster Interconnect Performance
Use of the cache_transfer Views
Monitoring the GES Processes
Monitoring and Tuning using OEM
Configuring the Oracle Intelligent Agent with RAC
Step-by-Step Setup of the Intelligent Agents on UNIX
Monitoring RAC using OEM
RAC Parallel Execution
Overview
Types of Parallelism
Parallelism in Oracle Relational Database
Parallel Execution Mechanism
Granules for Parallelism
Parallel Execution Servers
Degree of Parallelism – DOP
Parallel Query: SELECT
Parallel DML – Update, Merge, Delete
Parallel DML – Insert…Select
Parallel DDL Statements
Rules for Paralleling “Create Table as Select” (CTAS)
SQL*LOADER – Parallel Load
Other Parallel Operations
Initialization Parameters at a Glance
Monitoring and Diagnosing the Parallel Execution

This is a BC Oracle training course (c) 2007-2009

The Gung-Ho DBA is generally characterized by a “can-do” attitude. They are always bright and outgoing, and they always seem to be in a hurry. They tend to be impatient (especially with stupid developer questions), and they never “suffer fools gladly.”

http://www.dba-oracle.com/articles.htm#humor1

http://www.rampant-books.com/menu_oracle.htm

http://www.dba-oracle.com/training.htm

http://www.dba-oracle.com/t_visual_guide_oracle_concepts.htm

Oracle DBA Training

These are our most popular courses, expert Oracle DBA topics taught by experienced certified professionals with extensive real-world experience.

Oracle Real Application Clusters RAC Tuning
Expert 3-Day on-site Oracle RAC tuning course.
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle DBA Training – Database Administration & Management
5-Day on-site Oracle DBA training course – Oracle Training in Oracle Database administration and database management. Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Advanced Oracle Troubleshooting Training Course
3-Day on-site Oracle DBA training course – Oracle Training in advanced Oracle troubleshooting
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Performance Tuning
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle Training in Oracle performance tuning with tips and techniques for success. Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle 11g Real Application Clusters RAC Training
3-Day on-site Oracle RAC course taught by a veteran Oracle Certified DBA.
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Real Application Clusters RAC Training
3-Day on-site Oracle RAC course taught by a veteran Oracle Certified DBA.
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Advanced Oracle SQL Tuning
3-Day, 4-Day, or 5-day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all aspects of Oracle SQL tuning taught by a veteran Oracle DBA with real world experience.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle RMAN Backup & Recovery Training
4-day on-site hands-on RMAN course taught by a veteran RMAN instructor.
Cost is $12,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle10g New Features Training Course
3-Day or 4-Day on-site Oracle10g course – Oracle10g Training in all new features of Oracle10g. Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Upgrading to Oracle10g Training Course
2-Day on-site Oracle10g course – Upgrading to Oracle10g.
Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Network Administration
4-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle Training in Net8.
Cost is $12,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Snapshot Replication & Streams Training
3-Day on-site Oracle Replication course taught by a veteran Oracle DBA.
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Streams Training
3-Day on-site Oracle Streams course taught by a veteran Oracle DBA with real world experience.
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Data Guard Training
3-Day on-site Oracle Data Guard course taught by a veteran Oracle DBA with real world experience
Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle 10g Grid Training
4-Day on-site Oracle10g Grid course taught a veteran Oracle DBA with real world experience.
Cost is $12,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Data Warehouse Management
2-Day on-site Oracle course  – Oracle training in Data Warehouse technology and administration. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

UNIX Oracle Administration
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all aspects of UNIX for Oracle professionals.  Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Linux Oracle Administration Training Course
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all aspects of Linux for Oracle professionals.  Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Solaris 10 Unix Administration Course
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all aspects of Solaris 10 Administration.  Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Privacy Security Auditing
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in Oracle auditing including Oracle security auditing, Oracle data privacy auditing and auditing data integrity and recoverability. Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Sarbanes-Oxley (SOX) Auditing Training Course - New!
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in Oracle auditing including Oracle security auditing, Oracle data privacy auditing and auditing data integrity and recoverability. Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Object Oriented Technology for Oracle
2-Day on-site Oracle course  – Oracle training for Oracle object extensions, including nested tables, OID’s and object SQL. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Features, Administration & Tuning
2-Day on-site Oracle course  – Oracle training for the DBA. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Disk I/O Tuning
2-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle Training in Disk I/O optimization techniques. Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle DBA Advanced Internals
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle Training in Oracle Internals and optimization techniques. Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle 11i Applications DBA
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle 11i Applications DBA Training. Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle tuning for Siebel Systems
3-Day on-site Oracle course


Oracle Architecture Training

These courses are designed for IT managers, database architects and Oracle systems analysts who need to understand how to deploy complex Oracle architectures.

Oracle Technical Architecture for Systems Engineers
3-Day on-site – A Oracle training guide on Oracle Technical Architecture.
Cost is $10,500 for up to 20 students.

Data Modeling for Oracle
2-Day on-site – A Oracle training guide to creating robust Oracle schemas.
Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Managing Distributed Oracle Databases
2-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in distributed and advanced  replication features. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle on the Web
2-Day on-site – Oracle training in how to Web enable Oracle databases. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.


Oracle Developer Training

This is a complete series of courses designed to give your developers the skills they need to succeed developing Oracle systems.  BC provides complete customized Oracle training, geared to your staff skills and provides follow-up mentoring to ensure your success.

PL/SQL Performance Tuning Training Course - New!
5-day on-site – A customized Oracle PL/SQL tuning course taught by an experienced PL/SQL programmer.
Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students and this PL/SQL tuning course can be condensed and customized.

Oracle AJAX & ADF Faces Training
A customized Oracle AJAX course taught by an experienced AJAX developer and author.
Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle XML Publisher Training
A customized 2-day Oracle XML Publisher course taught by an experienced web developer and author.
Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle XML Developer Training Course
A custom 2-day Oracle XML tools course.
Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Application Express (APEX)
A 5-Day on-site Oracle APEX course taught by an experienced APEX developer and author
Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Advanced Oracle SQL Tuning
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all aspects of Oracle SQL tuning by the author of the bestselling Oracle High-Performance SQL Tuning by Oracle Press.  Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle10g New Features for Application Developers
A 3, 4 or 5-Day on-site Oracle10g course in all new application programmer and developer features.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Getting started with Oracle SQL
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Hands-on Oracle training in SQL, SQL*Plus and SQL functions. Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle PHP Developer Training Course
An intense 3 day hands-on Oracle PHP workshop class.  Hands-on Oracle training in Oracle and PHP interfaces & functions. Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle XML Developer Training Course
An intense 2 day hands-on Oracle XML workshop class.  Hands-on Oracle training in Oracle and XML interfaces & XML generation from Oracle. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Object Technology for Developers
2- Day on site – Oracle training in understanding how to use Oracle objects, including nested tables, abstract data types, and object ID’s. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle SQL and PL/SQL Jumpstart
5-Day on-site, hands-on Oracle Training in SQL, SQL*Plus and PL/SQL Oracle programming.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Beginner Oracle SQL and PL/SQL Training course
3
-Day on-site, hands-on Oracle Training in SQL, SQL*Plus and PL/SQL Oracle programming.  This course is designed for raw beginners and end users and required no previous exposure.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle SQL Programming & Tuning
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Hands-on Oracle Training in SQL programming & SQL tuning. Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle PL/SQL Programming & Tuning
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Hands-on Oracle Training in PL/SQL programming and PL/SQL tuning.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Java & Oracle Fundamentals
A 5-Day on-site Oracle Java J2EE class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle JDeveloper Java J2EE Training
A 5-Day on-site Oracle Java J2EE class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Application Server (Oracle9iAS, Oracle10gAS) App Server Training
A customized 4, 5 or 6-Day on-site Oracle Application Server course taught
a veteran Oracle DBA with real world experience.  This Oracle App Server Training Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Developer 6i Forms
5-Day on-site Oracle course  – An intensive hands-on Oracle Developer 6i Forms training Course.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Developer 9i Forms
5-Day on-site Oracle course  – An intensive hands-on Oracle Developer 9i Forms training Course.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Developer Reports
3-Day on-site Oracle course  – An intensive hands-on Oracle Developer Reports training Course.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle App Server Portal Training Course
5-Day on-site Oracle training  – An intensive hands-on Oracle Portal training Course.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Advanced Oracle Developer Forms & Reports
5-Day on-site Oracle training  – Intensive hands-on Oracle Developer Forms training Course.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Developer Forms Troubleshooting & Debugging
5-Day on-site Oracle training  – An intensive hands-on Oracle Developer Forms training Course.  Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Systems Analysis & Design for Oracle
2-Day on-site – Oracle training  in applying systems analysis to Oracle databases. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.


Oracle Certified Professional OCP Training

Join the ranks of over 200,000 Oracle Certified Professionals.  BC training is a proven way to get expert secrets and tips from world-renowned instructors to pass your OCP exam the first time.  All OCP classes contain rigorous hands-on exercises and sample OCP exam questions to ensure your success in Oracle certification.

Oracle Certified Master (OCM) Preparation Class
A 5-Day on-site Oracle Certified Master OCM course taught by an OCM curriculum developer and author
Cost is $15,500 for up to 20 students.

Oracle10g OCP DBA New Features Upgrade Exam Preparation
A 5-Day on-site Oracle10g OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z0-040.  Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle10g OCA/OCP DBA Exam 1 Preparation
A 5-Day on-site Oracle10g OCA/OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z1-042.  Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle10g OCA/OCP DBA Exam 2 Preparation
A 5-Day on-site Oracle10g OCA/OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z1-043.  Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle OCP Exam Preparation – SQL & PL/SQL
A 5-Day on-site Oracle OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z0-007 – Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle OCP Exam Preparation – Database Administration
A 5-Day on-site Oracle OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z0-001
Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle OCP Exam Preparation – Backup & Recovery
A 2-Day on-site Oracle OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z0-025
Cost is $5,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle OCP Exam Preparation – Performance Tuning
A 3-Day on-site Oracle OCP DBA exam preparation course for exam 1Z0-033
Cost is $7,500 for up to 20 students.


Other Oracle Training

Oracle9i New Features
A 3-Day on-site Oracle9i course – Oracle9i Training in all new features of Oracle9i. Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle8i New Features
3-Day on-site Oracle course – Oracle training in all Oracle8i features for DBA and developers. Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Logical Database Design
4-Day on-site – A logical database design jumpstart taught by an experienced Oracle DBA.
Cost is $12,000 for up to 20 students.

Expert Oracle Tuning Tips & Tricks
Intense half-day Oracle Training seminar for Oracle tuning – Cost is $1,500


Oracle 11i Applications Training

Introduction to Oracle for End-users
5-Day on-site Oracle course – Hands-on Oracle Training.
Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Advanced Oracle SQL for End-users
4-Day on-site – Hands-on Oracle Training for SQL and SQL*Plus.
Cost is $12,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Applications 11i Workflow Training Course
4-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Workflow functional training.
Cost is $16,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Financials eBusiness Suite Jumpstart training course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Applications Financials functional training.
Cost is $20,000 for up to 20 students.

AR accounts receivable module Training Course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Applications Financials functional training.
Cost is $20,000 for up to 20 students.
AP accounts payable module Training Course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Applications Accounts Payable functional training.
Cost is $20,000 for up to 20 students.
GL general ledger module Training Course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Applications General Ledger functional training.
Cost is $20,000 for up to 20 students.

FA Fixed Assets module Training Course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Applications Fixed Assets functional training.
Cost is $20,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle iProcurement (purchasing) training course
3-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle iProcurement functional training.
Cost is pending for up to 20 students.

Oracle Collections training course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Collections functional training.
Cost is $4k/day  for up to 20 students.

Oracle 11i order management Functional Training
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle order functional training.
Cost is $4k/day  for up to 20 students.

Oracle HR (Human Resources) HRMS training course
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle Human Resources functional training.
Cost is $4k/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle 11i project management (costing & billing) Functional Training
5-Day on-site – In-depth Oracle project accounting functional training.
Cost is $4k/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Business Intelligence Training

Oracle BI Suite Enterprise Edition training
3, 4 or 5-Day on-site Oracle BI course – Oracle training in Oracle BI Suite Enterprise Edition.
Cost is $3,000/day for up to 20 students.

Oracle Discoverer Administration and end-user query BI training
5-Day on-site Oracle Discoverer course – Oracle training in Oracle data warehouse discoverer.  Cost is $15,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Discoverer – Introduction to Oracle business intelligence
2-Day on-site Oracle Discoverer course – Oracle training in Oracle data warehouse discoverer.  Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Warehouse Builder
3-Day on-site Oracle Warehouse Builder course – Oracle training in Oracle data warehouse builder.  Cost is $9,000 for up to 20 students.

Planning the Oracle Data Warehouse
2-Day on site – Oracle training to learn successful data warehouse implementation techniques, including warehouse design & management. Cost is $6,000 for up to 20 students.

Oracle Online Analytical Processing OLAP
1-Day on site – Oracle training for understanding the Oracle OLAP tools including Oracle Express and Oracle DBA for warehouses. Cost is $3,000 for up to 20 students.

Training for Developers

Java Fundamentals Programming Training Course
A 5-Day on-site Java training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

J2EE Programming Training Course
A 5-Day on-site Java training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Java J2EE Web Services Training Course

Java Advanced Programming Training Course
A 3-Day on-site Advanced Java training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Enterprise Java Beans Training Course
A 3-Day on-site EJB training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Java Server Faces Training Course
A 3-Day on-site JSF training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Java Struts Training Course
A 3-Day on-site Java Struts training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

SOA – Service Oriented Architecture Training
A 5-Day on-site Java training class.
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.


SQL Server Training

This is a complete series of SQL Server training courses designed to give your SQL Server DBA’s and developers the skills they need to succeed developing Microsoft and T-SQL systems.  BC provides complete customized SQL Server training, geared to your staff skills and provides follow-up mentoring to ensure your success.

SQL Server Database Administration
4-Day on-site – Hands-on SQL Server DBA Training
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

SQL Server Performance Tuning
4-Day on-site – Hands-on SQL Server DBA Training
Cost is $3,000 per day for up to 20 students.

Click here for our full list of on-site SQL Server training courses


General Technology Training

All of the below courses are priced at $2,500 per day.

Managing Systems Integration
How to manage interfaces to heterogeneous systems

Overview of Distributed Object Technology
A review of distributed object technology

Success in eCommerce
Expert advice on creating and managing a Web presence*Plus

Artificial Intelligence for IT personnel
Understanding AI in the IT workplace

Object-oriented Technology for End-users
A plain English explanation of object technology

What kind of DBA are you.

What kind of DBA are you? Oracle Software Downloads was last modified: January 3rd, 2010 by Lava Kafle

Blog Comments

  1. Lava Kafle Post author

    I heartily express my best wishes on the auspicious Happy New year 2010 although late , to Paresh, Shivani, aka RAJ, their well-wishers, oracle anti logic, F B I , Tweets, Topsy dot com, OracleBrainDumps,Certification,Exams, Morone, Runchhe anti-oracle, Yantra, Robert Allen, Steve Karam, Silver Bullets, OraSecure Inc, Don Burleson, MMPI, FPD ..and every visitor around the world , Nepal, Nepalese, and rest of all, for viewing, wishing, commenting, and judging the best contents from oracle com’s knowledgeable and experienced person don burleson’s articles. thanks for loving!

  2. Thank You Paresh for commenting here

    Thank You Paresh for commenting here. Your site dbazone dot in is extremely useful as it taught us the following instantly. Best of luck:
    Improve performance using CURSOR_SHARING parameter
    Monitoring database performance
    Recover database using Flashback Tables
    Published by Paresh Sarma // Comment now »
    Kill Oracle process from UNIX server
    Recovery Manager(RMAN) backup
    Recovery Manager (RMAN) configuration
    Managing Undo data-II
    Killing Oracle Sessions
    Difference between SQL Hard Parse and Soft Parse
    Automatic Workload Repository

  3. Don't let script kiddies play with Silver Bullets

    My name is Robert Allen, and I’m the Founder of OraSecure, Inc. With over 9 years of trial and error from painstaking research, I’m now acknowledged as a promising top expert in the field of Oracle database security.

    For the past 7 years, I’ve consulted dozens of Fortune 1000 companies on all areas of Oracle Database Administration. The areas I’ve focused my most attention to are Oracle Security Features and Security Audits.

    I’ve personally audited over 400 Oracle instances over the years, as well as taught and mentored more than 80 DBAs to do the same.
    I think it’s great how you addressed the “Silver Bullets” issue. It’s funny, I think the people that have a problem with your “silver bullets” are those that throw common sense out the window when they read it.

    “Well, it’s in the book, so I’ll run it. Oh no, it broke my database! Let’s blame Burleson! How was I supposed to know it had a ‘shutdown immediate’ in it?! I thought I could run it on prod!”

    I guess it goes to show that we really are in the “Age of the Disclaimer” nowadays. Coffee is hot, scripts should be tested. Go figure, huh? So maybe some of those scripts don’t always “fix it”, and maybe some of them could make performance worse. It’s called “trial and error.” They’re silver bullets, not miracles.

    It reminds me of that song from South Park – The Movie, “Blame Canada.”

    “Should we blame the matches, should we blame the fire?

    Or the doctors who allowed him to expire? HECK NO!

    Blame Canada, blame Canada!”

    We could change that to these lyrics:

    “Should we blame Oracle? Should we blame the net?

    Or the script I ran but haven’t tested yet? HECK NO!

    Blame Burleson! Blame Burleson!”

    Steve Karam, OCM, Oracle ACE

  4. Don Burleson says How to be a successful computer professional? There’s always room at the top

    Don Burleson says How to be a successful computer professional: There’s always room at the top
    Be Obsessive

    I was always rewarded for following-through with tough challenges and I’m the first to admit that once I locked-in to a task, I let nothing stop me. I firmly believe that the only thing to be ashamed of is not giving 100% to every task you undertake.

    I learned that I was not going to be stopped by people telling me that something cannot be done, and I worked relentlessly on every ask I undertook. There is an old saying “If you want to get something done, give it to the obsessive guy”. When I was teaching graduate school at the University of New Mexico, I would give students difficult problems that other experts said “could not be done”.

    Have a real work ethic

    I have always had contempt for self-entitled people, and I hate those annoying TV commercials offering to give people “the cash that you deserve”.

    Who the hell says that you deserve anything?

    You get paid exactly what the market demands, and not a penny more. My strong work ethic was because I grew-up poor (my Dad was a Disabled Veteran), because I had high-standards imposed by my parents and because I was orphaned as a teen. I’m also very conscious of providing value for my clients and all of my consultants share a real desire to be as productive as possible.

    Get Real-World Experience

    The “Catch 22” argument is a common theme with many aspiring DBA’s. I get e-mail saying “I need experience to get a DBA job, but I can’t get a job without experience”. If you have this problem, do what I did.

    I worked for free for my professors and took my first job at a place with very low-pay, just to get the experience. I later did database work for charities to sharpen my skills, and there are loads of charitable organizations who want volunteers with database expertise.

    The USA is a true bastion of upward mobility and anyone who wants to be successful can get there with hard work and dedication.

    Be Creative

    Thinking outside-the-box is the hallmark of American Ingenuity and you should always foster your creativity by exploring new uses for technology. Being hindered by proctologic thinking is a serious deficiency for any computer professional. Creative people commonly face objection from experts who say that because something has never been done, ergo, it cannot be done. Me and my wife Janet faced this when we were attempting to housebreak horses and we were told by experts that it was impossible. We faced even more ridicule from experts who assured us that horses could never be trained to safely guide the blind. The experts said it couldn’t be done, so we went ahead and did it. Today there are four full-time guide horse teams in America. We also saved a horse with a broken leg by questioning experts who told us that it couldn’t be fixed.

    Don’t trust any expert who say “It’s never been done, so it must be impossible”.

    Also beware of turgid experts who oppose novel uses of technology solutions. For example, American drug researchers discovered that the anti-depressant Wellbutrin reduced nicotine cravings, and today this drug has helped millions of people quit smoking.

    When Oracle expert Robin Schumacher discovered that using Oracle multiple blocksizes improved I/O throughput, some experts said “You can’t do that! Multiple blocksizes were made for transportable tablespaces, not for I/O segregation.”

    Don’t trust any experts who say “Do can’t do that. It was made for another purpose”.

    Possess Courage

    It takes guts to put your reputation on-the-line and to invest your savings into new endeavors. Starting a consulting business requires money, lots of friends and connections, but most of all, courage and a firm belief in your abilities.

    My father spent years in a Veterans hospital when I was a kid, and I spent hundreds of hours chatting with “real heroes” in the hallowed halls of the V.A. wards. I know courage and I know cowardice, and I believe that there are many courageous people in the USA and it’s my job to find them for my staff.

    Right is right, wrong is wrong, and I have the strength of my convictions to guide me. I recently went to great lengths to expose an Oracle scammer, and I have the guts to fight for what is just and right, no matter the personal cost.

    So, there it is, everything you need to know. Like my Grandpa always said “There’s always room at the top”. It’s true, you know. . . .

  5. F.B.I. Federal beaurau of Investigation Tests, Facial judgements

    The FBI teaches this all-important skill, and cameras are now used in airports, hooked to software that analyzes facial expressions of passengers:

    “In an attempt to prevent terrorists from boarding commercial planes, scientists are developing a device that can detect and record facial expressions that show fear and other emotions.”

    But it’s not just the F.B.I. and law enforcement

    “You’re so-o ambitious, aren’t you? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube, with a little taste.

    Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you’ve tried so desperately to shed – pure West Virginia. What does your father do? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp?

    You know how quickly the boys found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere, getting all the way to the F…B…I.”

    Personality Assessment Tests

    Mental health professionals are trained at person assessment, and a well-trainer personality evaluator can often seem frightening and magical. The Minnesota Multiphasic personality Inventory (MMPI). The MMPI test is a set of 500 true/false questions that accesses personality with remarkable validity, and it’s results are accepted in all U.S. courts. Their test-base consists of hundreds of thousands of subjects,. with a pre-diagnosed mental disorder (see DSM IV). By comparing their responses to seemingly innocuous questions (e.g. “I read the editorials in the newspaper every day”) a proven predictive model was created (Federal courts have affirmed the MMPI as a scientifically valid) and accepted procedure for personality assessment.

    For example, the subjects preference to take showers vs. baths is an extremely reliable measure of self-esteem, and other scales such as the “Mach” scale that measures how manipulative you are (based on the bestselling book “The Prince” by Machiavelli. Here is an excellent overview of the MMPI scales and how they access your personality with eerie accuracy.

    Additional MMPI scales include Hypochondriasis (Hs), Depression (D), Hysteria (Hy), Psychopathic Deviate (Pd), Masculinity-Femininity (Mf), Paranoia (Pa), Psychasthenia (Pt), Schizophrenia (Sc), Hypomania (Ma), Social Introversion (Si), and the important “lie scale (that measures if the subject is trying to manipulate their test results). These MMPI scales are all valuable for “getting inside” someone’s personality, and the results are often used as evidence in criminal and civil (especially child custody) cases.

    If you practice personality evaluation ardently it can almost seem to others like you have psychic ability. Formally, a snap judgment is call a “Cold Reading”, and you can infer amazing things about people with simple observation skills. Scientists have now taken-up and formalized this skill and confirmed that facial expressions can be reliably interpreted to tell when someone is lying, and noted that most people don’t have this skill:

    “People don’t seem to be very good at spotting deception signals. On average, over hundreds of laboratory studies, participants distinguish correctly between truths and lies only about 55 percent of the time.”

    Snap judgment is not an easy skill to learn unless you practice. As youngsters most of us are taught that it’s not nice to size-up people. Putting classes of people into broad-buckets is naughty, we are told, because categorization leads to stereotyping, and it’s not fair to make assumptions about people based on your “profile” of them.

  6. narcissistic

    I am narcissistic. “Flamer Personality Disorder” (FPD), more here:
    Reality distortion and Inability to See and Hear — The child sees situations through his own sense of woundedness and neediness. . .

    Mood Switching –The child’s fractured self is caught in mood swings. She may go back and forth between “I’ll be good” and pouting or outrage because she isn’t getting what she wants. . .

    Poor Impulse Control and Frustration Tolerance — The child is highly reactive to outside stimuli that seem to threaten his sense of self and cannot delay gratification. He wants things NOW! . . .

    Poor Ego Boundaries and Need for Control — The child cannot view things from any other perspective other than his own. He is so caught in his own neediness that he cannot feel empathy for others.

    Denial of Uncomfortable Feelings –The child keeps the focus on what he wants not how he feels. His constant demanding keeps him from feeling the pain inside.

    Frequent Anger and Rage –The child substitutes anger and tantrums as a way of keeping her uncomfortable feelings from being experienced. She becomes a master of rationalization and justification of her explosive actions . . .

    Need for Admiration –The child erroneously believes that he is special and should be given special privileges. . .

    Grandiosity and Fantasy –The child spins grandiose fantasies to cover up the internal wounds of his fractured self. He sets up elaborate fantasy schemes of winning, becoming powerful or gaining revenge for injustice. Daydreams of becoming rich and famous without talent or hard work are common.

    Idealization and Devaluation of Teachers or Therapists –The child will make you feel that you are wonderful and special as long as you humor her. “As long as you give me what I want, you are the ideal person for me” . . .

    Externalization of Blame –The child cannot allow the bad feelings of being at fault for anything. He/she/they/YOU are the problem! He avoids feeling vulnerable by blaming others.

Post Your Comments:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *