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The Art of Lovemaking (and Management)

Well, we were asked to write an article each on Management and I decided to consult some Greek Gods for some insights into some Management Mantras. Hence I traveled all the way to Athens and managed to meet Hephaestus and Aphrodite; others were on vacation. Following the principle of ‘Pilgrimage to Pashupatinath, Trade of Tuna’, I requested Aphrodite to throw some light on the secrets of lovemaking while Hephaestus revealed the secrets of successful management.

I offer to you here the excerpts of the great tips I was provided with:

The Beginning

APHRODITE: When you select your partner, do not judge just by his/her looks. Remember that the prettiest could turn out to be the lousiest and the ugliest the most skillful.

HEPHAESTUS: When you hire an employee, do not judge just by his/her qualifications. Bear in mind that the most qualified could turn out to be the least productive and the least qualified the most productive.

Learning

APHRODITE: Nobody is a master of all moves. Be a teacher as well as a student.

HEPHAESTUS: Nobody is a master of all trades. Provide ample training and guidance to your subordinates and do not hesitate to learn from them as well.

Preparation

APHRODITE: Warming up is the key to success. Make sure you spend enough time in this process.

HEPHAESTUS: Allocate ample time for research, review and rehearsal. Do not hastily jump into a task and mess it up later.

Mutual Consent

APHRODITE: Willingness to perform has to be mutual. Do not force your ways but inspire and coax if need be.

HEPHAESTUS: Ditto.

Eye Contact

APHRODITE: Maintain eye contact with your partner. Do not let him/her feel that you are imagining somebody else.

HEPHAESTUS: Maintain eye contact with your subordinates. Do not let him/her feel that you are concealing something.

Experimentation

APHRODITE: Do not be afraid to try out various techniques. You never know what you like and what you don’t until you’ve tried it.

HEPHAESTUS: Do not be afraid to try out new tactics. You never know what will succeed and what won’t until you’ve tried it.

Facing Difficulties

APHRODITE: Do not panic. Just handle the situation calmly yet firmly yet gently.

HEPHAESTUS: Ditto.

Quality

APHRODITE: It does not matter how long or how often you do it but how pleasant the experience has been.

HEPHAESTUS: It does not matter how long you work or how many tasks you complete but how fine the quality of your results are.

The Ending

APHRODITE: After a satisfying session, hold on, lay back, cuddle and chitchat. Do not immediately get dressed and walk away with a sheepish grin.

HEPHAESTUS: After a successful completion of a project, express thanks, offer bonuses, party and chill out. Do not just thump some wasted backs and walk away with all the credits stashed in your pocket.

So what do you say? Isn’t it surprising that the art of lovemaking is very much similar to the art of management? I, for one, am now convinced that a ‘great lovemaker’ is also a ‘great manager’ and vice versa.

Next season, I’m traveling to Atlantis and I hope to bring back more tips on some other interesting subjects. Till then, jhin jhin chao!

Disclaimer: The contents of this article are entirely fictional. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living, dying or dead, is purely coincidental.