Keep Talking

Posted by: ritesh

As those eggs were boiling just out of curiosity I asked, “Hey auntie, how do these eggs get inside the chicken in the first place?” I was 8 then. The answer I got didn’t help my curiosity but at least I understood I should never ask how eggs get inside chicken. It wasn’t somehow similar to asking my dad “What’s beyond the end of universe?” where he would sit there for hours and try to explain about infinity.

I used to love scary movies, especially Hindi horror movies. I wasn’t very much specific about Hindi or English movies, I just loved any scary movie; but most of the English scary movies started with a big 18 plus sign and that meant I couldn’t watch that movie. “Time for you guys to go to bed” Dad would say. We never asked him why and he never bothered to explain either.

And then one day, when I was in the 5th grade, one of my classmates discovered something that was beyond compare to anything I knew before that day, something very new and exciting. He was surrounded by the whole class, and no one blinked his eyes as he explained that there was something called sex, and because of sex babies get inside the mother. At that moment it seemed I got the answers for everything. I thought this guy was a genius to have solved such a great mystery, and wondered if my mom and dad knew about all this.

Of course I couldn’t ask anything about this to my parents, I couldn’t even ask how eggs get inside the chicken. So where do I get all the answers on my further curiosity about sex, of course the guru, the genius from my class, so what he found out about sex the other day.

One of my classmates was once held for a weeklong detention. Two long hours of heavy exercise, cleaning the backfield, and if everything is clean-cleaning the classrooms. He was caught with little stickers of naked girls in his school bag and it was the Vice Principal who caught him. The vice principal decided to cancel his regular moral science class for that day and instead decided to talk a little about sex education. He emphasized on sex being so pure and spiritual. His class was vaguely informative. I just had one question in my mind at the end of the lecture – “Just like apple is apple and we eat apple, what is sex?”

I turned around to look at the guy who got the weeklong detention. He was staring at the lecturer as if asking, “I was just looking at some girls, where did all this nonsense about sex come from?”

There was this guy who, along with his 3 other friends, was accused to be guilty of raping an under-age girl. Rumors were that the girl was not hesitant the day of the incident but turned around the next day to file a case against them. There are always rumors when something happens to a Nepalese citizen overseas, but they don’t always help; they were sentenced for six years of prison. As soon as the guy heard his parents left for Australia to visit him, he committed suicide. If the rumors were true, his intentions were not to rape that girl. Of course he was not planning on a serious relationship with her after taking turns with his friends, but somehow he might have thought he wasn’t committing a crime.

There are all these legal issues, health issues etc about sex but all we learn by the time we leave school is – use condoms to prevent AIDS, which kind of implies only one con of sex – AIDS, if you don’t have AIDS you have been successfully practicing safe sex – congratulations.

Sex education should be a must in schools; after all it’s not similar to saying “I want to be a doctor so I don’t care if I fail my Accounts”. Sex and relationship is something everybody has to go through, there’s nothing optional here. Children in there teenage, who know the general hows and whys of sex, need to discuss about facts of sex with their teachers or parents. Young teenagers are always filled with weird ideas about sex that can lead to complications if they are not openly discussed. Children develop ideas about sex or shame towards it, which can subconsciously develop fear or hatred towards sex and ultimately towards relationship.

Things are changing slowly though. People are much open now when talking about sex and it’s no longer something that shouldn’t be discussed. But still there is something that reminds me of the same genius from 5th grade; something tells me it’s still the same, only his ideas gone wild. It’s still an issue stuck between relationship and fun, actual problems are still not discussed openly. To some it’s still a matter of life and death and to some it’s nothing but just fun. There is a lack of common, general knowledge, lack of information from the start, from learning about sex from friends and only from friends – who themselves don’t have any idea either. I believe this is the right time to start educating teenagers about sex; otherwise soon the action part of sex will have a much faster pace than the education and information part.

Keep Talking was last modified: December 22nd, 2014 by ritesh
 

Blog Comments

  1. dovan

    Have u wondered why girls cannot walk confidently and relaxedly releasing their body putting the head high.

    Why they are so shy and nervous and blush with uneasiness even at a slight hint of the subject ‘sex’.

    Sexuality is asset of every living organism.
    But there is an unfortunate breed ‘women of hypocritic conservative society like Nepal’ who are forced to be guilty over their own sexuality.

    Their sexuality is not a matter of their enjoyment and choice but of men’s exploitation and luxury.

    Women should get sex education to recognize and defend against the molestations and exploitations that they face everwhere and at any age.

    They should get sex education to avoid any unwanted pregnancies and accidents.

    They should get sex education to accept and respect their own sexuality.

  2. dovan

    Sex is one of the biggest force and basic truth of nature.

    Biologically speaking, this is the means of our birth and reason of our life.

    So why all this fuss on the subject…

    - – - – - -

    Religions are always against it as it is an easier means to get the state of selflessness(which is only garaunteed to gain by means of religions).

    The way sex is made a subject of taboo only creates confusion, complexity, guilt, obsession , over-indulgence and different psychological problems and sexual crimes.

    But accepting it as a normal natural phenonmenon makes it simple and natural.

  3. Sanjib

    You are right Ritesh, sex education must be included in our school curriculum. So that the children get to know the reality about storks bringing babies at doorsteps and above all the young ones start considering the importance of the topic rather than considering it as dirty, obscene and profane.

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