Insecurity is a feeling everyone experiences right from childhood to an older age, regardless of gender. I am focusing specially on male insecurity. And, it certainly makes for a peppier subject because of the perceived contradiction in the phrase- male insecure?
But let’s talk of the entire males. His mother and father have probably decided early in their parenthood how childhood toys are to be distributed between boys an d girls; …
tanks for the boys an dolls for the girls. In other word, an image of power, toughness and invincibility for the boys and home, family and gentleness for the girls. Constant comparisons between the supposed images of men and women have messed up the thought processes of both.
The minute boy is born in our home, he is subjected to superior treatment (ironically, the ones who make him feel superior are the women). I say “Subjected” because superiority always comes with a great burden of insecurity of the simple reason that it has an image to live up to. What an average boy knows himself by the time he’s 15 is: “I’m a man. I am better than a woman. At lest I am supposed to be better. I have to do well in life because I have a responsibility. My family members look to me for support.”
And it is exactly this sting of expectations attached to his being born a male that makes him insecure. He doubts whether he can fulfill them and spends al his life trying to overcome that doubt.
Another insecurity that afflicts a man after the age of 15 is in matters related to sex. I was surprised to read in a respected magazine that all women need to do to crush her partners’ ego. At this rate, men will start taking their sexuality so seriously that they will become performers following rules and instruction manuals rather than trust their own nature. They will attempt to kiss like Clark Gable or Keanu Reeves and if by chance their attempt backfires due to sheer nerves, they will not forgive themselves for a long time. A man usually covers up his feelings or inadequacy by developing an attitude. That is why there are many men who talks of “accomplishments” and “victories” among themselves in order to feel like “men”. In fact, sexual harassment of women is a direct result of a man wanting to deal with his insecurity, making him feel powerful, in command and in some strange way very good about himself.
Most men are under the misapprehension that woman go for the macho-man image. They also think on the part of the women, because to him she is his mental reference point. He forgets she is a human being with her own moods and expressions. I’m sure that ultimately, all that matters to a woman about a man is his human side. Fortunately, things are changing with more open-mindedness and awareness gradually slipping into society. The insecurities of a man or for that matter, a woman, will only disappear when we learn to treat both genders as equal human beings.