Foolish Fathers

Posted by: suntoast

“What!!! what happened to you, why didnt you tell it to him” no more words in my mouth as I looked at the marriage reception card just handed to me by Urmila. ” Sorry Santosh, I was not made for you”. ” How could you do that”….” I cant go against my parents will, and they selected Ramesh to you”.

Ramesh ,that crap, had been my classmate in my school days. Actually he was 3 years senior to me at the beginning. I dont know whether he liked that particular class or not, he stayed in the same class for four consecutive years. English =15 out of hundred and I recall once in maths only 4%. He left the school after studying 1 year with me at the same class. I had no information about him for 7 years, after which I learnt that he was doing some kind of car washing jobs in the US and now this.

About me, I am a doctor by profession.Salary roughly around Rs 40000. Own a Maruti 800. Can easily feed my parents and I am their only son.

But still why that chap better off than me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mind thought nothing except that………………. 

Having no answers I drove directly to Ramesh uncle. I asked ” Why Uncle?” ” Sorry Santosh, He is a NRN. Atleast she can live a better life in US than roaming around with you here”.

Such a cheap answer!!! How could that be a possible excuse. Only being a NRN placed him in a higher rank than the highest job status in Nepal.

Now Urmila resides in Alabama and is a sales person in one of the jeans shop. I wish her a happy life for ever.

I went through this trauma some months ago, but recently I have been meeting people like me often in my clinic where they land up due to mental stress after break ups. I dont know why people are after overseas countries. Why do people prefer their daughters to marry a NRN than one who is working hard in our own country. I just call them foolish fathers because they dont care what work he is doing in US. Only a NRN badge is sufficient to lure the fathers. They think their child will be happy and safe overseas but they dont know that their daughters are gonna face more hardships over there.

I missed my girl due to the new tradition.  Getting distinction in SLC, 10+2 and studying in Manipal Medical College did no help for me.  4 years of true love went in vain.If I had thought before, I would have gone to US than spending 18 lakhs for my medical study.

I would have had my Urmila by my side ……………………then.


Foolish Fathers was last modified: September 27th, 2007 by suntoast

Blog Comments

  1. The Wise One

    kale also seems to think this post as a equal rights battle between doctors and car washers. Simple put this post is about:

    1. Father chose car washer not on the grounds of wisdom or feelings of equal treatment, but thinking America to be a better deal than a professional in Nepal – to him, it didn’t matter that jwai saab was a car washer or a doc, but he had to be a Nepali with a green card. (Let’s not go wandering beyond what the post says)

    2. The doctor was questioning this motive. In simple words,”Just because someone is in America, is he better than anyone in Nepal?” If this is to be believed, Girija, you, I, Jwala SIngh, Gyanendra, Paras, Madhesi, Nepali, Janajati, ordinary people, etc are all losers.

    3. If security was what the father was concerned about, why wasn’t the doctor chosen instead of a car washer in the US who would simply have a hard time making ends meat. At least, the doctor was doing well financially and professionally. (Most intelligent people would think that the father’s logic is wrong. (Let’s repeat that any suspected romance between the girl and the car washer is not mentioned in the post and should not be speculated)

    That’s all the above post is about. Period.

    - The father made a wrong decision. Period (If we venture into what if’s, in which case, how come, etc, this post will receive 1000 replies. This post didn’t deserve even 20 replies it got, especially when there are other well written stuff here that don’t get read.

  2. Ratnesh

    ke ho timi ta santosh hoina “lost in Australia” lekhne. Tyesma ta timi engineer chau, yesma pheri kasari doctor? kun chahin true ho. viewer haru lagi tyesai bewakoof banauna payincha ki kya ho. Aafu bidhes gayeko bhayera bides jane ko support gare jasto lagcha malai yo article le.

  3. kALE

    Dude, with that attitude you will always be miserable.. during your 4 years of true love you must have made her feel like shit! you are a doctor, So what? what is the big deal.. is financial security everything? does that gurantee happiness in years to come? maybe you didn’t know her! Maybe she didn’t wanted your money or your status.. Doctor! I really am pissed at guys like you… Why do you think you deserve better? Don’t even have the misconception that because you are a doctor, you’re automatically a better human being.. humanity and feelings have nothing to do with profession.. what is wrong with washing cars? atleast he is earning his keeps in a honest way! is it a bad thing for you? or are u simply jealous? did you try hard enough? or did you think you deserve someone better than Urmila and let her go and now when it is too late you are crying over spilled milk? come on share something worth sharing.. u have the right to your opinion dude but why do you always have to go over the edge? have you ever tried thinking out of the box? did you ever asked what Urmila wanted.. I bet you didn’t.. u must have been very busy making your Rs. 40,000 per month .. GUYS LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.. !!!!

  4. .

    The doc acted late: only after something has been fixed. He went to see Ramesh Uncle after he fixed his daughter with a guy in the US.

    Plus if that girl Urmila had loved the doc truely, she would not have bugged down to the US proposal. So relax, Urmila is selfish and good thing that the doc did not get engaged with her.

    On otherside, US rules. Urmila sacrificed the doc for American dreams. Viva US.

  5. Rattlenhum

    On the contrary, roaming around for 4 years is also not being nepali. Suntoast, you should have approached the father and asked her hand in marriage long time ago. The father too must have thought that their relationship was going nowhere and sent her daughter in the US to prob save face in the “Nepali society”.

  6. Rattlenhum

    What kind of religion do you follow Pawan? Is a guy who gets distinction in slc and 10+2, who becames a doc, earns money, has a car, is a loving son and who also wishes that his disserter girlfriend live happily a loser now. He also shows concern about traumatic people who go through breakups and land at clinics. He doesn’t seem to say he’s better than the other chap, just questions how he is better than him. He also worries that urmila will have a hard life in the US.

    The father said, quote: ” Sorry Santosh, He is a NRN. Atleast she can live a better life in US than roaming around with you here”.

    I see that the girl was roaming around, enjoying the good money of an unsuspecting man who thought he had love, but got dumped for the bigger, better deal. What’s the point in making promises, staying together for 4 years and then breaking up. Are we westeners? He also says that had he known what was going to happen he would have not spent money to become a doctor, but went to the US. I’m pretty sure he would have himself washed cars. This is a guy burning inside because of loss. Show some sympathy.

  7. the_one

    lol … NRN is just an excuse … most likely you couldn’t please her sexually even after 4 years ….. pathetic …. for crying out loud go get some dick enhancements done man … or are you gay ??

  8. pawan

    I am a doctor, I earn 40000, I own a car, I am a only fcking son. He got only 4% in english and 3% in maths in school, he washes cars in fcking USA(he is a NRN). That defines type of guy the suntoast is, and he is no different than any other ‘foolish fathers’. And most importantly, that sounds very unromantic, very arrogant. Ask any girl, she will choose any guy but you.

  9. The wise one

    You guys don’t get the point. The debate here is not about the values of jobs or professions. This is about a father who forced his daughter to get married to a guy in America because he thought she would be in better hands with someone in the US (just because he is in the US) compared to the doc. The doc’s cry here is about why he wasn’t judged a secure hand for his daughter. The concerned chick was with this guy for 4 or 5 years as the doc says. Whether the chick stays happy or not is not what the debate is about. It is about the Nepali thinking. The chick must have been overwhelmed with the prospects of going to the US and forgot everything else. Besides, if this chick stays with this guy for 4 years and then leaves him for another, she’s characterless. She’ll prob leave the US guy for a more money making US guy. The chick is characterless. Besides, she would have had a good life here (at least materially speaking which was what the father’s modus operandi was anyway)

    All jobs are valuable and dignified jobs if done honestly. The point here is that the father should have seen more security with a successful guy (the doc here) than sending his child to the US to someone who has had a history of failing. The doc has mentioned that this guy failed 4 times. Somehow, this guy – the real loser – managed to go to the US.

    You guys don’t get the point. You wait till the moment when you can strike (the first rule in effective communication is to listen well and get the big picture, before you comment). The point here is the father’s misinterpretation of what’s because of our ignorant Nepali thinking. Besides, the enginner and doctor preference you mentioned earlier that affects nepali thinking is the same thinking that prefers america these days. Besides, just because a medical degree can be sought easily doesn’t mean every doctor is a quack. Some work hard for their achievements.

    You guys should better read and get the whole point before commenting.

  10. .

    Working in a jeans shop as sales person is a prestigious job and the writer should look down on that.

    There are nepali doctors in the US, who work as sales persons in flower shops, shoe shops or grocery stores.
    How do you account that ?

  11. .

    Every other person is either a doctor or engineer in Nepal so the value of so called Doctors do not hold as it used to be. Prior to the emergence of medical/engineering colleges that run on capitation fees – only selected and talented few could study medicine or engineering. Then being a doctor or Eng. meant something. Now the new criterias have emerged- your father has to be able to pay the fees or have right political connections despite your real talent – and you become what you want.

    The ultimate of Marriage is happiness and sacrifice. If Urmila is happily married then who ever wrote this is merely a looser. Stop boasting of being a doctor. Being a doctor is not a guarenteed licence of getting whoever you want. Plus, doctors are the least romantic personalities.

  12. Aneesh Lohani

    I agree with you Suntoast. By the way, congratulations on your achievements and your hard work. You’re much better than the other guy. Besides, your girl was probably not worth it. Had she really appreciated you, she wouldn’t have done what she did.

    Still, I feel sorry at your loss. But, do take care, buddy.

  13. Bishwa Hang Rai

    Yeah,Juss because some one has Greencard,What a Crap.But no need to worry dude,get up,even if u had got your love,you would be with someone who has low morale,cant read between the lines and judge the True Options and Lastly no Feel of Patriotism.Hangaround and u will find someone Dammizz. :smile:

  14. Yestai Ho

    This holds true many occassions. People think dish washing and fuel pumping job abroad is better than working as a doctor in Nepal. What a shame! It makes me sick

    Yestai Ho

  15. nishchal

    I would just like to say “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened!”
    and “Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t willing to waste their time on you…”

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